On Boundaries
Setting personal boundaries—especially in business or emotionally charged situations—used to stir immense discomfort within me.
The mind-drama that ensued felt vivid and unsettling. I can vividly recall my eyes darting around, unable to focus, my throat tightening as if closing in on itself. The immense relief would flood over me as I'd capitulate with a resigned 'forget it,' letting the issue slip away. At that moment, disregarding boundaries seemed a relief.
My fear of being disliked or rejected (a common fear for entrepreneurs and helping professionals setting new boundaries), coupled with the emotional labor and potential conflict, clashed with long-held personal rules: to never disrupt the peace, to avoid creating chaos. Yet, unresolved issues often led to chaos despite my efforts. By not addressing them earlier, I unintentionally contributed to their escalation.
By that point, I lost clarity around what I truly needed—one of the hidden costs of weak boundaries in business and life. I had stunted my thought process, neglecting to explore what was truly important to me. It all seemed like an incoherent mess of feelings without clear expression.
Now, I recognize that setting and maintaining boundaries—especially in our work as entrepreneurs or helpers—requires real energy and presence.
There’s no shortcut. It requires bravery, and that bravery can sometimes be distressing. Yet, neglecting our boundary maintenance diminishes our self-worth. Boundaries define our personal space, an area that is exclusively ours.
It’s within the safety of our boundaries that we start to flourish—not just personally, but professionally. Healthy boundaries allow us to lead, connect, and grow without losing ourselves.
Struggling to set or hold boundaries without second-guessing yourself?
At the heart of boundary work is self-trust—and it’s something you can build. Coaching offers a space to reconnect with your values, strengthen your voice, and navigate tough moments with more clarity and confidence.
